


Time can do so much

by orphan_account



Series: The only water in the forest is the River [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Stormcage Containment Facility
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:57:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squeal to "Lonely Rivers' flow to the sea" </p><p>Its been nearly Three thousand years since River died - so in theory she should be dead<br/>But as usual, River has other ideas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lipstick stains

**Author's Note:**

> This is a squeal to another work called 'Lonely Rivers flow to the sea'  
> Please check it out if you haven't already
> 
> p.s. I don't doctor who or any of the characters
> 
> Enjoy!

The doctor had grown old and wise in his self-inflicted exile, but it was nothing of a substitute for life he had when he was with River, when he had lived until he had only enough strength left to survive.

So much had happened since that bitter autumn day so many years ago. The Daleks had finally managed to gain the control they craved so much. Once he would have fought until the last breath had left his body, he would have died a hero to save the universe that he seemed to love so much back then. Now, he just didn’t care anymore, the universe had taken more than its fair share of everything that he loved and now refused to even take the one thing he hates the most, the thing that he has been on the brink of destroying time and time again since the great time war, the thing that will always remain to the end of the universe and beyond – his life. 

She had told him to never travel alone, although she knew as well as he does that there is only one person that can ever fill the gaping hole in his heart, and she was released from this world so long ago that she should have vanished from his memory and his heart centuries ago. Sometimes he wishes that she would stop torturing him with the thought that he once held her safely in his arms, but he knows deep down that this is a kindness she will never give him.

He can remember watching Amy choosing to live her life in one room with Rory over a life where she could see every star in the galaxy and travel as far as the eye can see, he can remember spending hours trying to find reason in her final choice. At the time he had no idea. Now he looks back with saddened eyes, finally understanding the one thing far too powerful and complex for his younger self to ever understand – Love. The kind that moves mountains and will do whatever it takes – The kind that Is still devouring his heart from the inside out and will continue to do so until he is finally able to follow in his wife’s delicate footsteps.

His life had become dull and colorless – nothing mattered anymore. Not the Tardis, nor the thrill of opening up her doors with no idea what he will find, even his fish fingers and custard had become meaningless. He’d come to accept that no amount of glorious color could ever brighten this cruel world of everlasting grey.

And then, one day when he was reading the precious note that she’d left for him – brushing his fingers over the tiny, slanted letters he noticed something that he was curtain wasn't there before. It was a tiny detail really; even he wouldn't have noticed such a minute change if he hadn't spent so long studying the fragile paper that he’s surprised that his eyes haven’t faded the simple black ink. At first he thought he’d imagined it – but no, there it was on the very edge of the paper. It took him only a fraction of a second to identify it as a tiny smudge of scarlet lipstick – River’s lipstick.   


	2. And then, there was light

His legs started to move before his mind could even start guess the destination. Not that it took him very long to work it out, there’s only one place in the whole of space and time worth visiting –   his wife’s grave.

Before he knew it he was running through the Tardis doors and she took off without any input, which was helpful but a little unnerving for the doctor – he could still remember what happened last time she took off without his help. Come to think of it, she always does when River’s in danger, ever since the library. He quickly dismissed the thought. He’d spent far too long dwelling on the amount of ways he could have stopped her. Not that it would matter now anyway – that was an alternate time stream, even if River was by some miracle alive he’d changed her time stream so that couldn’t happen anyway. But if it couldn’t happen than why could he remember?

His thoughts were interrupted by the Tardis opening the doors to reveal one of the dark, dismal corridors that couldn’t have belonged anywhere other than Stormcage containment facility. Slowly, one step at a time the Doctor made his way out of the Tardis and around the corner, his eyes fixed on the floor. Every second that went by felt like hours but when he finally found himself facing Rivers’ old cell, he couldn’t bring himself to look.

It was then that he realized how stupid the whole thing was. He’d pinned all his hopes on her somehow standing there waiting for him to find her, armed with a joke about his choice of bowtie. It was impossible and he knew it. The smudge was probably just his eyes showing him what he wanted, _needed_ to see. But somewhere, deep in his mind was the slightest glimmer of hope. So he took a deep breath, gathered his courage and opened his eyes.

There she was, lying on the cold floor. Her hair as wild as ever and her left hand still gripping a small gold hart hanging from a thin chain that he’d given her on their second anniversary. For a precious moment she almost looked as if she could have been sleeping. But only a second later he saw the gaping hole in her chest and the ocean of deep blood still flowing from the wound like a stream. And all of a sudden she wasn’t asleep anymore, as much as it broke both of his hearts to say it, he couldn’t hide from the truth anymore – his wife was dead.

And then, there was light, as precious and beautiful as the woman it surrounds. Almost like she was … no, that can’t be right, she can’t regenerate – she’d given up her energy to save him when they first met, when she gave up the rest of her lives for a strange man that she’d been trained to hate since she was just hours old. Behind the guns and the poisoned kisses she was just a scared little girl who only wanted to do the right thing. As a child she treated and disposed of like a faulty weapon. As a teenager she was a misfit, a trouble causer. Then she was River, the murderer, hated by almost every life form in the universe. The universe couldn’t have been more wrong.

If only someone would have taken the time to look closer they would see something spectacular. The child who dreamed, the girl that fought every day to hide her past and woke from a nightmare screaming every single night, the woman who just wanted to be loved but couldn’t ever let anyone close enough for fear of them getting hurt.

Then, all of a sudden she opened those big green eyes, gave him her brightest smile and got halfway through slapping him round the face before he caught her arm in mid-air and snarled into her ear   “River, if you dare even think about putting me through that again then I will personally…” he was cut off by River, shouting at the top of her voice her eyes welling up with tears, “Doctor, you know as well as I do that as long as I live you are in danger!” Before looking him in the eye and whispering softly, although he was the only one there to hear “Why won’t you just let me die?” A silent tear ran down her cheek.

“River, it’s been nearly three thousand years for me! If I could have done anything to save you, than don’t you think I would have done so earlier? Everything that just happened was all down to you.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“River, everything about us is impossible. You’re impossible!” A slight smile appeared on the Doctors’ lips, “You were created on the Tardis, and you escape from the most secure prison in the world every night, you regenerated!”

~~~

But River wasn’t listening. Something was wrong. He was only creature in the universe that can regenerate. He’d had a daughter, Jenny, who'd had similar abilities, but she’s long dead and it only makes sense that she would be able to, she was his child…

~~~

She stopped as the realization hit her, her face portraying pure fear, but what scared the doctor most is that she made no attempt to hide it. If there’s one thing that he knows about his wife, it’s that no matter how deep the wound, no matter how big the scar; she never lets him see the damage. He’d never seen River frightened before and if he was honest, it scared the hell out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you for reading.  
> Please comment and tell me what you think (constructive criticism welcome)  
> and last but not least, Please say if you would like me to upload the next chapter


	3. Something that was never there

Then she started to speak, so quickly that he couldn't understand what in the universe she could possibly be saying. Questions flowing from her mouth like bullets from a spitfire. When she’d finished he just looked her dead in the eye and said “River, what’s wrong. And don’t you dare say that nothing’s wrong because I know you, and in all the time I’ve known you – I have never, ever seen you scared. “I’m fine!” she answered, spitting out the words like a five year old having a tantrum “Only if fine means…” He stopped, thinking of the last time he heard those words. Upon seeing the hurt in his eyes, she mellowed and added in an almost soothing tone “Not really fine at all? I know sweetie, I know,” She took a deep breath before adding with a hint of urgency in her voice “Doctor, you said once that you’d had a daughter and that she could regenerate”

“Yes...” He mumbled, making no effort to hide his confusion, it was hardly a time for secrets – no matter how small of irrelevant they may seem  .Rivers fingertips found themselves resting on her abdomen “When a time lord is created, it is created with all its regeneration energy. This energy can heal any creature that’s close enough. Please, for once, tell me I’m wrong.”

“No,” he whispered, becoming ever more concerned as to where the conversation was going. He knew his wife, and never has she _ever_ in all of space and time admitted to being wrong, let alone actually wanted to be wrong about _anything_ (and that includes the time she thought that he’d been involved in those shenanigans with Cleopatra VI, which of course he hadn't – yet.)

 She closed her eyes gently, savoring her last few seconds of relative simplicity and preparing herself for everything to come “I don’t know how to tell you my love, but I think I’m …” She stuttered, unable to finish her sentence, as if it would all be okay if she could only keep her lips sealed.  Maybe she’d made mistake, she must’ve missed something. Things like this don’t – can’t happen to people like her. Yet, she knows deep down that somehow it has.

 The doctor’s gaze fell upon her stomach and what little the color was left drained from his face like a painting that’d been left out in the storm. Neither party would ever know how long they stood in absolute and utter silence; it could have hours or just mere seconds. But when the doctor finally spoke his voice sounded like he hadn’t spoken in hundreds of years. “Ah… I see.” But, no matter how hard he tried, no words would ever fill the deep abyss of dreadful taciturnity forcing them apart. Only the quiet sobs of a broken woman kept the silence at bay.

 And like a stream breaking its dam, the emotion pushed aside the stiff mask that she’d been wearing for as long as she could remember. The tears rolled down her cheeks like heavy summer rain and when the doctor opened his arms she didn't hesitate before collapsing into them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any thoughts, questions, corrections or constructive criticism, please comment and share your feedback!  
> Thank you so much for reading,


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